Have you ever felt like you’re watching your own life from a bystander’s perspective?
Sometimes, it takes just a single idea to re-frame your entire point of view of a fixed concept in your mind. It is as though you make a u turn and began seeing the roadside scenery from a new angle.
It happens to me, randomly, sometimes after a dream. When the unimaginable or unthinkable happens and you wake up feeling as though your reality has blurred. Is what I dreamed of possible? Could it have gone unnoticed or just something my subconscious picked up or secretly desire? The good news is that it provided me with more material for my daydreams. If it is something fascinating, I could probably expand it and think of new ways to continue the story or maybe recreate it with different endings. Occasionally, I take pride in ‘acting / directing’ my own (inner mind) films. However, more often than not, it is just a scene replayed again and again in a different scenario with a different dialogue, but with the same cast.
Speaking of which, the characters are usually faceless. They are usually mostly a form with certain traits and characteristics picked up from whoever I have in mind. The main focus of my inner films are mostly the dialogue and the chemistry between the characters. In a way, it is very satisfying because I get to ‘watch’ my own movie play out the way I want it too. Maybe a few retries even, if I can’t get the dialogue or scene right.
Anyway, back to the main topic of re-framing the entire point of view. So, I have two people whom I have different forms of interaction with. One day, I woke up from my dream where I suddenly have a 270 degree change in the way I perceive them. It is as though the dots finally connected. I can see clearly. But then again, I do not understand. Matters of the heart are usually difficult to address and when you introduce a new thought, your feelings get muddled up. Still, it is amazing to see how I have been missing out on this new perspective. Now I see double meaning in some events and chuckle at myself when it happens. Oh well, time is ticking and it will all be over before you know it.
Except that this time, I am one of the actors and not the wallpaper. Fun times! >_<