where is the BFG?

My memory’s a bit hazy on when it started.

I had probably just got back at my actual house and the car is parked outside the gate. There were a lot of stuff to carry into the house so it needed a few trips to and fro to get everything inside. After the first round, I went back out and somehow got OCD-ed about keeping the main door close while I go and get my stuff. Maybe because the gate was slightly open and I didn’t want the main door to be open too. It felt like a direct passageway into the house.

It is funny how it took me a few tries to close the door. Once, I use too little energy and the door wouldn’t close firmly. I didn’t want to use too much strength in case the door slams loudly. When I finally got it to close, I turned and proceeded towards the car. The distance between the main door and the gate is about 4-5 meters. It was already dusk and there isn’t much sunlight left.

As I approached the gate, I suddenly noticed two silhouette outside the gate. Both were dressed in a strange fashion. They both have a straw hat on and their clothes outline reminds me of the Akatsuki members ( antagonists in Naruto anime ). Note that due to the not very bright light condition, I cannot see much details, except that of a shadowy figure. I can feel my hair stand on end. Frightened, I tried my best to retreat backwards as fast as I could but somehow, the steps were long and agonizing. The two figures made their way past the gate into the house porch area, walking steadily towards me.

My right hand shakily reached for the door handled. It is the type where your fingers go around the handle and your thumb presses down on the latch to open. It felt like they can reach for me anytime now. Paralyzed with fear, I mustered as much strength as possible to press down on the latch. Anytime now, they are gonna get me!

And I woke up. Thank goodness it was only just a dream! *sweats*



Have you ever felt like you’re watching your own life from a bystander’s perspective?

Sometimes, it takes just a single idea to re-frame your entire point of view of a fixed concept in your mind. It is as though you make a u turn and began seeing the roadside scenery from a new angle.

It happens to me, randomly, sometimes after a dream. When the unimaginable or unthinkable happens and you wake up feeling as though your reality has blurred. Is what I dreamed of possible? Could it have gone unnoticed or just something my subconscious picked up or secretly desire? The good news is that it provided me with more material for my daydreams. If it is something fascinating, I could probably expand it and think of new ways to continue the story or maybe recreate it with different endings. Occasionally, I take pride in ‘acting / directing’ my own (inner mind) films. However, more often than not, it is just a scene replayed again and again in a different scenario with a different dialogue, but with the same cast.

Speaking of which, the characters are usually faceless. They are usually mostly a form with certain traits and characteristics picked up from whoever I have in mind. The main focus of my inner films are mostly the dialogue and the chemistry between the characters. In a way, it is very satisfying because I get to ‘watch’ my own movie play out the way I want it too. Maybe a few retries even, if I can’t get the dialogue or scene right.

Anyway, back to the main topic of re-framing the entire point of view. So, I have two people whom I have different forms of interaction with. One day, I woke up from my dream where I suddenly have a 270 degree change in the way I perceive them. It is as though the dots finally connected. I can see clearly. But then again, I do not understand. Matters of the heart are usually difficult to address and when you introduce a new thought, your feelings get muddled up. Still, it is amazing to see how I have been missing out on this new perspective. Now I see double meaning in some events and chuckle at myself when it happens. Oh well, time is ticking and it will all be over before you know it.

Except that this time, I am one of the actors and not the wallpaper. Fun times! >_<





dream dream dream

last night i had this really weird funny dream.

In my dream, I had a preview of what’s going to happen. Something like a teaser trailer.

And then the events start to unfold one by one.

First scene: NK, SY, SM and I are in this room where SM is resting on a queen size bed whereas SY and I are wrestling playfully on the mattress below. I know I was feeling pretty tired and I felt tired in my dream too. Then, when I wanna leave, NK asked me to help pass some purplish silk pouch to someone and I kinda ignored and told him to pass it himself.

^ I’m guessing this is somewhat related to my work. The scene is still weird to me.

Second scene: I went out and started a slow jog but it felt more like taking long leaps. I felt like I was semi flying when I am in the air in between the long leaps. I gained some distance but my pace slowed down as I begin to feel tired. ( this tired feeling always comes creeping in ). To my surprise, I saw the back of a lion and I quickly went and hid behind a tree. I can’t see the lion but I can see that something else is also fearing the lion. It looked like a tiger, but the body shape resembled more of a deer. Can you imagine a tiger with the body shaped like a deer? It was walking backwards in a nervous manner and I slowly see the lion advancing slowly towards the tiger. It happened to turn its head and…… the face was a cat! What!?!? From my hiding point, I started looking around to see if anyone else saw what I saw but I was shocked even more. More animals appeared, but they all seem weirdly mutated. Each is a combination of two animals, if that makes sense. For example, a kangaroo body with a another animal’s face. A rhino body with a ummm, another animal’s head. Strangely, I cannot recall what the animal combinations were. Everything is a haze. And what’s even more peculiar is that a crowd of people started gathering near the “cute” combinations and began taking ‘we-fie’. OMG. I find it difficult to move and slowly retreat back to where I came from. I hid behind a telephone booth when I thought there is another weird creature but it turned out to be a ‘Wall E’ creature floating away. Strange and stranger.

^I’m guessing this mishmash animals are caused by my brain processing my zoo trip earlier this month. What else can be the explanation?

Third scene: I went inside a ‘lab/classroom’ where my CTO is the professor/teacher and informed the rest of the class that the latest assignment/project has been handed out. Now, there is quite an interesting twist to this project. You can choose to finish or ‘are not able’ to finish it. BUT, you need to provide sufficient and reasonable proof on why you will not be able to complete it. It felt really difficult though. From my understanding, this is like a programming + electronics homework. Two of my ‘table mates’ left me to do research and said they will be back when they are done. Somehow, I took it as they don’t wanna discuss with me as I’m too noob. I can’t quite remember who they are though I did recognise them in the dream. Soon after they left, a few other friends joined me and started discussing on what can be done. I am still pondering how to solve this project – should I try to finish it or conclude that it cannot be done and work on finding evidence why it cannot be completed?

^This is probably my brain’s attempt to decipher and hint to me my subconscious thoughts and feelings. Nothing makes sense and time is running.

I know this entire post is a mix of present and past tense. I didn’t feel like correcting them. Maybe it can give a feel of the mixed feelings I experienced as I wander between here and there, then and now. As usual, my dreams have many people and sometimes nothing makes sense. XD

dream tales #1: where am i?

Snippet from last night’s dream.

Sharon and I were walking along a dirt path in a seemingly garden-like area. It felt very tropical as I saw on my right, multiple coconuts hanging by a string each from the ceiling of a semi glass building. It was a single storey building, and looks like a cafe, in my opinion. It just looks pretty refreshing to see this coconut deco. Wouldn’t it be heavy, I wondered.

As we walked, I was somewhat holding my camera phone in my hand and I focused on the building ahead of me. The ceiling fan was spinning and there is a lovely ornament hanging from the ceiling but I can’t remember what it was. Instead, what captivated my eyes were these two fierce-looking fishes swimming in the air. I had to move my phone to follow their movements though they were mostly going back and forth, meaning their movements were sort of enclosed in a fixed space.  This really felt like something out-of-the-world, something you would only see in movies or videos. How can two fishes be moving so agilely in the air? I looked up to see the fishes with my own eye but I see nothing. I felt very odd and am in  a state of disbelief. I looked down at my camera phone again and there they are, swimming while moving close to each other. My eyes immediately looked up and they disappeared! What trickery is this! I turned and asked Sharon to look but she had more of a trepidation look on her face. I caught her drift as I sensed a huge looming figure at the corner of my eye. It looked like a giant. Oh, this is a strange place!

Without having to say much, we immediately broke into a sprint across the meadows, eager to get out of its sight. We ran as fast as we could, over a stream of water. It felt like a river but the structure looked more like a man-made giant drain. Is this what insects feels like when they cross our drains? I felt a little frightened with the thought of what if I fell but the adrenaline rush kept me going forward. There was a wall at the end somewhere slightly above my height and with perfect timing, I took a great leap and managed to scale the wall and landed right on top, with barely a scratch. Sharon did too, and we kind of paused a while to take a breather. How do we escape next?

There are one or two humans around but they seem oblivious to us. I jumped over to another wall and jumped down. Below it, there seemed to be an opening and without thinking much, motioned Sharon to come over. There is a flight of stairs leading downwards and I instinctively slide down it. The opening is too narrow to walk down. When we finally reached the bottom of the stairs, the opening increased in height and we soon saw normal daylights and people. Busy roads. It looks like we are back to where we belong. I heaved a long sigh of relief. Madness.